The Little Taisho Brothers and the Daddy Scare

That's My Boy Collection Chapter 8

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Inuyasha.  

~oOo~

Little Naraku scowled across the playground at Little Sesshoumaru as he arrived at playgroup for the day and sauntered over to join his compatriots on their side of the playground.

He'd been steaming and plotting since Little Sesshoumaru had bested his beautiful 'divorce' scheme and gotten him into so much hot water with his father.  Just as he'd known, his male parent hadn't been angry that he'd lied or that he'd set up such a scheme – no, he'd actually been amused at the little plot itself – but he'd been angry that his son had not only failed at it, but at who he'd been plotting against.  Not that he would be averse to causing the Western Lord or his family problems, because he hated anyone that was untouchable and out of his reach, but that didn't change the fact that Touga and his entire clan were untouchable... and now he was going to have trouble trying to weasel out of what his son had weaseled them into.

But Little Naraku, despite the prospects for a nice Christmas going downhill with every new scheme he cooked up just couldn't fathom giving up.  There had to be a way to get that arrogant little Sesshoumaru!  And sooner or later he would find it, he swore (not that he'd dare do that out loud, of course).   He wouldn't give up until he had that brat on his knees and crying!

Muttering belligerently to himself, he wasn't really aware of the commotion on the playground for a little bit as every other child stopped what he or she was doing to stare at the gate into the play area as a group of little boys (and was that a little girl, or not?) entered the playground with interest.  Who were these guys (girl)?

Little Sesshoumaru, over on the opposite side of the playground from Little Naraku noticed the newcomers just fine, and his eyes narrowed on the swaggering little boys and... girl? as they entered the area and looked around with smirks.  Moving right to the front of his group, he made sure his youki flaring and his dangerous expression let them know that they weren't welcome on his side – they were trouble just like the rest of the baddies, he could tell right off – and watched with even narrower eyes as they stared boldly back at him, even though they did stop coming closer.

The leader of the group seemed to be a slender boy with a long black braid down his back, and even though they all looked to be human he had an odd marking on his forehead, leaving Sesshoumaru to wonder if he was hanyou, instead.  Though strangely enough, he couldn't really feel any youki from any of them, either, but something about them all just seemed to be off.  (And that wasn't even counting the strangely dressed one - the one that he couldn't tell the gender of for certain.  It smelled male, but looked female.)

There was the leader, and then another relatively small boy with a bald head, another boy that was just a bit bigger than the other two who smelled strangely like two different people, and then a huge, hulking boy that was easily as large as that ugly hanyou Goshinki that followed Little Naraku around.  The fifth one was also very tall, though more gangly, the sixth was the girly looking one, and the seventh was short and squat, with bulging eyes and a wide mouth.  All in all, a very odd and mostly ugly group of boys.  (And girl?)

He looked away from his study of the new group as the scent of his sweet Little Kagome came up from behind him and peeked around at the group of boys with strangely wary eyes.  Little Sesshoumaru noticed that immediately, as Kagome was invariably trusting and friendly to pretty much everyone.

“Ano, 'Shoumaru... those boys are kinda weird, don't you think?”  she asked hesitantly, looking up at him with her innocent, wide blue eyes.  She shivered a bit and clutched his arm, moving closer to him as they all looked at her.  It was obvious she was very nervous about the newcomers.  He looked over his shoulder at the rest of his group and was very interested in their reactions – even the rather aggressive Little Sango and Little Ayame were staring suspiciously and warily at the new group.  In fact, the only one who didn't seem to notice the caution of everyone else was – who else – his idiot younger sibling, Inuyasha.

“Hey, Sesshoumaru... who are those creepy kids?”  his brother asked loudly, drawing the attention of the entire weird group.  

Before he could answer, the oddly dressed one that he was still not able to decide the gender of gave a loud squeal and dashed towards them, practically throwing itself at his little brother with an excited yell of,  “You're so kawaii!” as he/she? grabbed at Inuyasha's madly twitching canine ears.

He couldn't help but smirk at his brother's horrified yells of “Get it off me!”  and his wild struggles to get away from the obviously fairly strong being.  He wasn't having much luck until the one that Sesshoumaru had decided was the leader of the group came strutting over and pulled on the back of the being's clothes.  “C'mon, Jakotsu, leave him alone.  From the looks on these kid's faces they think they're too good for us, so we'll be taking ourselves off to find another place to play.”

Well, that answered the question of what gender the offender currently molesting his younger brother's ears was, but why would a boy allow himself to be dressed like a girl – and act like one, too?

“Hey, look, Bankotsu,”  one of the other boys said,  “it's Naraku.  Why don't we go play over there?”

Sesshoumaru's hackles rose at that name and he glared at the one who had spoken.  “If you are friends with that hanyou,”  he lifted his nose in the air,  “then you are definitely not wanted over here.  Take yourselves off, for we have no use for yet more miscreants on our side,”  he finished, idly brushing a little bit of sand from his sleeve with a disapproving frown as he noticed it marring his normal immaculate perfection.

The entire group of little boys glared at him; though it was clear they didn't understand several of his words, 'not wanted' was clear enough.  The one now known as Bankotsu clenched his fists and glared back at Sesshoumaru.  “And who are you to tell us what to do?”  he asked pugnaciously, looking quite ready to do battle – though he was startled into stumbling backwards when Little Kagome, who had been hiding behind her hero, got angry at the way that boy was daring to talk to her Sesshoumaru and dashed out from behind him with a fierce light in her normally mild blue eyes.

“He's Sesshoumaru-sama to you, that's who!”  she yelled, startling the entire group of little boys into backing up, though the girlish one was still looking longingly after Inuyasha - who'd run for the back of the group as soon as that other boy had pulled the weird one off of him and was currently growling and snarling to himself as he tried to straighten his mussed clothing out.  “You'd better go 'way like he said, 'cause we don't like baddies over here!”

Her shrill voice carried all over the playground, and as Naraku saw who she was yelling at an evil little smirk crossed his face and he rushed across the yard to greet his school-time partners in crime, loftily ignoring the narrow-eyed look of danger he was getting from the Western Heir.

“Oi, Bankotsu, come over to the other side with me,”  he said, his smirk widening at the low growl that came from Sesshoumaru.  “Those kids over here are no fun at all to play with.”

Little Sesshoumaru didn't stop growling until the entire group was over on the other side of the playground.  He really didn't like the look of those baddies, and just knew that they were going to be trouble.  “Come, Kagome,”  he beckoned, taking her little hand in his own as pride washed through him at her courage,  “they aren't worth our attention.  Let's go play in the sandbox.  I never did get to finish making my family's fortress for you to see the other day,”  he added.  Whatever those little punks were up to, he didn't want them anywhere near any of his group, and especially not his Kagome.  

She smiled up at him at that, her blue eyes sparkling with trust.  “Okay,”  she said, always amenable to whatever he asked of her, and followed him over to the large sandbox to help him build his fortress.

However, before she could gather her bucket and shovel from their spot set neatly against the fence, another disturbance near the entrance of the park had her coming to a halt as two boys strode in, and she grinned and took off without another thought towards them - to Sesshoumaru's consternation.  He scowled – they kind of looked like that nasty group of boys that had just showed up – one was skinny and with a long black braid, and the other was overly large and bald and looked like a fish out of water.

“Oi, Hiten, Manten!”  the little girl called, waving madly, and the two boys looked over at hearing her.  Wide smiles broke out on the faces of both and they scurried over to greet her.  “I didn't know you guys were going to come to playgroup this year!”  she chirped cheerfully as Little Sango trotted over to join her friend, obviously also knowing the two boys.  

Sesshoumaru, now staring with narrow eyes at the two almost stomped over to plaster himself to Little Kagome's side with a petulant glower that made her blush when she realized that she'd basically just ditched him to run over to her friends.  “Oh!  I'm sorry, 'Shoumaru,”  she said in a tiny voice that always made him feel all funny and gooey inside.  “I was just excited to see my friends here at 'group. I usually don't see Hiten and Manten until we go back to school.  Sango's friends with them, too.”

“Hn.  I have heard of you – you are the Thunder Brothers, are you not?”  he asked, suspicious.  Why would his little Kagome be friends with baddies?

“Yeah, so?”  the skinny, black-haired one asked almost pugnaciously.  “We're the Thunder Brothers and we're friends with Kagome.  We 'tect her at school from bullies 'cause the bullies are scared of us.  Who are you, anyway?”

“I am Sesshoumaru, heir to the Western Lord,”  the little boy replied a little haughtily, though he could not bring himself to truly fight with anyone who would protect his Kagome from baddies and bullies.  

Both little boys eyes widened at that; everyone knew who the Western Lord was – and by extension, the heir.  “So what are ya doin' with Kagome?”  Hiten asked, it being his turn to be suspicious.

“I am courting her, that's what I am doing with her,”  he returned correctly, looking proud as Kagome blushed and the other two looked awed.  

“Courting?”  Manten rumbled, surprised.  “We're just kids – we're too young to be courting, that's only for adults!”

Hiten elbowed his brother.  “No we ain't, stupid.  Look at little sister and that fox she's always chasing. I think the adults just tell us that 'cause they don't want to answer our questions about girls 'n boys and courting and stuff.  That's why they always turn red whenever we try to ask 'bout that... and even where babies come from.”  He lowered his voice conspiratorially as the children gathered around him looked interested – especially Little Miroku, who had just sidled up to them.  “We all know that mating comes after courting, right?”  At the nods from around him, he continued, his voice dropping to a whisper.  “I think that babies come after mating but the 'dults don't want us to know that.  I haven't figured out why they all act so stupid about it, though.  Why's it such a big secret, anyways?”

There were confused and agreeing murmurs from around him as the children all pondered that.  He was probably right, Sesshoumaru conceded, especially when he thought about how his father had acted when he'd first asked about the courting and mating rights of Inu.  He'd blushed and stammered and looked shocked to hear such a question – and come to think of it, he frowned, when his father had told him that he'd soon have a baby brother and he'd asked him where he would be coming from, his sire had acted the same way.  

“Hn... I think you're right,”  he said, adding the information about his father's confusion and embarrassment when he'd asked where his brother was going to come from.  

Kagome blinked wide eyes, remembering her own mother's blush when she'd asked where her baby brother was coming from.  “But mama told me that the stork brought my brother Souta,”  she said, a cute look of curiosity on her face.  “I think the parents just call the storks and order a new baby whenever they want one – kinda like when they call and order take out pizza.  But they don't blush when they do that, so why's a baby any different?”

Meanwhile, Little Naraku and his cohorts were listening in quite blatantly to the topic of conversation, and all the talk about babies had gotten him thinking.  He knew all about divorces and alimony and child support from listening to his dad talk... and the whole thing had just given him an idea.  If Little Kagome was right and all a person had to do was call someplace and order a baby, then he had the perfect idea to get Little Sesshoumaru.

“Hey, Kagura,”  the naughty little boy said as she listened to the talk with fascination,  “I know how you could get Little Sesshoumaru to pay attention to you,”  he said, and instantly he was the focus of the entire group.  

“How?”  the little girl demanded, her red eyes sparkling at the idea of making Little Sesshoumaru and Little Kagome break up.  He couldn't be paying attention to the little human brat if he was paying attention to her, instead.

“All you have to do is tell Sesshoumaru that you ordered a baby and that he's going to be the father. And then he'll have to pay attention to you, because you'll have a baby to take care of,”  he said, an evil little grin making him look just like his daddy.  “And if he doesn't then you can sue him and make him give you lots of money.  My dad does it all the time.”

Before little Kagura could say anything, Little Jakotsu piped up and the entire group tittered at what he said.  “Hey, then I can order a baby and make that kawaii Inuyasha be the daddy and pay attention to me, too!  This is great!”

A little creeped out, nonetheless Little Naraku nodded and within moments Little Bankotsu was dispatched to announce the ordering of babies and that the two Taisho boys would now be daddies whether they liked it or not.

Little Kagome's bottom lip wobbled and she burst into tears when she heard the news – she knew very well that babies needed two parents, and if Little Kagura had ordered a baby that was going to have  Sesshoumaru as the daddy then he would have to marry her, instead.  

She was fairly quiet with her tears; however, the din that came from Inuyasha when he heard the news instantly brought the adults running, wondering just what the heck was going on for the little hanyou to be caterwauling in such a manner.

“What's the matter, son?”  Touga asked, looking over his youngest son with worried eyes as the little boy carried on, his cries not diminishing in the least just because his father was there.  “Why are you crying?”  When he still didn't stop hollering and start talking he looked to Sesshoumaru, frowning and confused to see him wrapped around an also crying Little Kagome and glaring across the yard at a smirking Little Kagura – and a happily grinning Little Jakotsu.   “What in kami's name is going on?”  he finally bellowed, frustrated.

“It's that stupid Little Kagura and Little Jakotsu,”  Little Sango said angrily, clutching at her boomerang.  “They ordered babies and are making Sesshoumaru and Inuyasha be the daddies so they have to go over there and stay with them.”

“I wonder if I can order a baby and make you be the mommy?”  Little Miroku pondered aloud, looking right at Little Sango, who promptly knocked him over the head with said boomerang and watched with satisfaction as his eyes rolled up in his head and he went nighty-night.

“You can't just order a baby like takeout food!”  Touga finally managed to get out, incredulous and exasperated all at once at the ploys from that little troublemaking group across the way.  Moving over to a very upset Little Sesshoumaru's side and awkwardly patting a still teary-eyed Little Kagome on the back in an attempt to soothe her, he glanced sternly at his youngest son, who was still carrying on like the world had ended.  “Hush, Inuyasha.  You aren't going to be a father – and besides, a baby needs a mother and a father, not two fathers.  Two boys can't have a baby,”  he said, reddening a little as his youngest finally fell silent, the rest of the children staring curiously at him.  Sesshoumaru looked as though he were about to start asking questions and he held up a hand for silence, not in any way ready to explain the truth behind where babies came from to his overly curious son – or his friends.  “Don't start, son.  Just be glad that having babies doesn't work the way you all thought it did.  You'll learn about that subject when you're older.  Now, why don't you all go back to doing what kids are supposed to do and play, and leave the baby duties to us adults?”

Sniffling, Little Kagome nodded and turned away to go to the sandbox, Little Hiten and Manten following along as Little Sesshoumaru clutched at her hand.  When she did, she caught sight of Little Kagura staring across the playground and glared at her.  “Stupid Kag'ra,”  she muttered.  “One of these days I'm going to get her back for trying to make 'Shoumaru be the daddy for her baby.”

“Do not concern yourself with that weakling, Kagome,”  Little Sesshoumaru said loftily.  “She is not worth the time.  Here,”  he said, handing her the shovel and bucket she'd abandoned when Hiten and Manten showed up.  “Why don't you start gathering enough sand for us to make our fortress?”

Kagome nodded, and along with Little Sango and Little Ayame got busy making piles of sand, the familiar playtime activity eventually calming her down while Sesshoumaru watched over her.  

“So what are we gonna do to get those jerks back for upsetting Kagome?”  Little Manten asked his brother and the young Western Heir.  “That was a really mean trick they played on you guys.”

Little Sesshoumaru sniffed as he watched his father, with a very annoyed scowl, go stomping over to take a now sulky Little Naraku by the back of his shirt and haul him off to the parents area.   “My father will take care of it,”  he said, finally turning away to go join Kagome and the others in the sandbox.   “Though it was very funny to listen to my annoying brother howling loud enough to wake the dead,”  he added, paraphrasing something he'd heard his father say once and had taken a liking to.

The two boys snickered at that and followed the smirking little boy into the sandbox, and soon all of them had forgotten the whole thing as they proceeded to building a fortress that was as big as the entire sandbox.

Touga, on the other hand, hadn't forgotten a bit of the trouble the hanyou in his clutches had caused and loomed over the little brat with a terrifying grin that smacked of that disappearing Christmas he'd been thinking about earlier.  “You keep this up, boy, and I'm going to own you and your father for the rest of your lives,”  he warned the suddenly cringing little boy.   “And you can just sit right here next to me as I call my lawyer and he calls your father.  Doesn't that sound like fun?”  

Pouting morosely, Little Naraku began counting the growing piles of coal he knew he'd be getting come December while all the other boys and girls were getting presents.  He glared across the fence at a smug-looking Little Sesshoumaru.

“I'll get you yet, you jerk,”  he muttered belligerently under his breath.  “Just you wait.”

Touga scowled at the spider hanyou for a moment and then patted his ever-present video camera as his scowl turned to a grin, instead.  

Recording all this was the best idea I've ever come up with.  Not only do I have proof when one of those little monsters does something bad, but I have proof that this stuff actually happened this summer to show Sesshoumaru and all the others when they get older.

He's going to be so embarrassed someday – and so will Inuyasha.  Maybe I can even send these in to Japan's Funniest Home Videos or something and make it even more embarrassing for them.

The thought of his uptight son and heir hiding his face in chagrin over his boyhood antics kept that grin on his face all through the rest of the day and into the evening, as he took the footage and filed it away with the rest in his rapidly growing digital collection and cheerfully readied the camera for another day of recording.